Peer-to-Peer Constructive Feedback
C.U.B.E. for Conflict
To learn more about CUBE and how to use, please view the CUBE Overview
Best Practices for Peer-to-Peer Constructive Feedback
REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES
Share your support for the other person and your commitment to a powerful working relationship.Assume they have positive intentions around their actions and what happened.Request a conversation to increase your effectiveness in working together and to share about something that has had a negative impact on you.Create alignment around what you would like to create--the vision for what's possible.Find a good time for you both to have the conversation.Ask permission to share your perspective before you move forward.See if they have other issues that they want to discuss as well, e.g. give you feedback.
C
NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST
U
If possible, share a plus/delta--where you were satisfied and where you weren’t around the tasks or projects. Do not generalize and make it about them.Be clear about the impact on you and the severity of the situation.Own your assessments. Separate facts from interpretations.Ask them how they see it. Appreciate the other person’s view of the situation even if it’s inaccurate or sounds like an excuse.Stay curious about what you did to contribute to the situation.Create a shared reality and take responsibility for your role.
RAINSTORM OPTIONS
Co-create many possible solutions to resolve the situation or make things better, including how to support them, communication changes, escalating together, etc.Separately, also discuss how to handle things if (and when) the situation arises in the future.
B
ND WITH COMMITMENTS
Decide and fully align on clear next steps. Agree to specific actions to deal with the situation if (and when) it happens again.Setup a check-in to discuss changes, progress, and course corrections.Reconfirm your support for the other person.Work together to make it happen and stay in communication.Thank them for the willingness to have the conversation and ask what you could have done better.
E
Common Mistakes for Peer-to-Peer Constructive Feedback
REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES
Waiting too long or not naming the elephant (it makes the next conversation harder).Going in off-center, in public, or when anyone is ready to “snap.”Assuming negative intent or making generalizations or attributions. It should be focused on the behavior, not the person.Forgetting that the goal is to collaborate around a change in behavior, not to deliver a message or beat them up. Assuming it’s a 1-way street usually backfires and makes you unprepared.Not acting from a mood of support and encouragement.
C
NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST
U
Waiting to address it as a theme about them, rather than addressing it as specific feedback around a task--making it about them, rather than their behavior.Assuming it’s “their fault” and not looking at how you contributed or situational factors.Getting caught up in your own story and not being curious. It’s easy to want to be “right” or to blame rather than focus on the desired result.Not understanding or empathizing with their challenges, obstacles or other uncontrollable factors.Not sharing the level of impact on you or the severity of the consequences.Assuming what’s easy for you is easy for others.
RAINSTORM OPTIONS
Making demands rather than exploring next steps together.Not exploring options for offering continued support and resources.Forgetting to discuss how to bring this and other things up in the future.
B
ND WITH COMMITMENTS
No clear next steps or check-ins to continue the learning together.Assuming they have to shift and approaching this as their issue rather than a shared challenge.Underestimating the possibility of a radical shift.
E
View the Cube Prep Sheet in Google Doc.
How did you do with having this conversation?
View the Post-Conversation Self Assessment.