C.U.B.E. for Conflict
CUBE for Conflict™ was created to boil down complex models of communication into one practical, easy-to-use method that helps leaders avoid the most common mistakes in challenging conversations.
Post-Conversation Self-Assessment
CREATED CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES
The What
☐ I created and shared a vision of success that they bought into.
☐ I set a forward-looking, positive tone.
☐ The elephant was named (the problem, the complaint, the request).
☐ It was clear what was being discussed or decided (and what was off the table).
The Relationship
☐ The conversation established us as friends not foes--they know I am a support for them.
☐ They felt appreciated by me.
The How
☐ We agreed on topics, agenda, and timing for the conversation.
☐ We identified who else needs to be consulted before a decision can be made.
UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER’S WORLDS...THIERS FIRST
Their World
☐ I understood their world and their point of view even if it was inaccurate (interests, cares, feelings, priorities, challenges, or concerns).
☐ I demonstrated understanding through paraphrasing.
☐ For cleanups, I identified what I did to contribute to the problem and took responsibility for any negative impact I had.
Your World
☐ I shared my world, point of view, and underlying interests and priorities.
☐ I owned my opinions as interpretation not as facts.
☐ I ask to be paraphrased if I was doubtful that they understood me.
Shared Reality
☐ We now have a shared reality--we know where we agree, where we disagree, or what’s still unknown.
☐ We identified common priorities and differences.
BRAINSTORMED OPTIONS
☐ We brainstormed options and did not debate or assess them while brainstorming.
☐ We came up with several options and did not just jump into the first solution that came up.
☐ We let the ideal path be generated through the brainstorm.
☐ For cleanups, we also discussed the relationship and how to ensure any misunderstanding doesn’t happen again.
ENDED WITH COMMITMENTS
☐ We gained clear commitment on next steps (who is doing what by when).
☐ We left the meeting in a way that WE had a shared commitment.
☐ For cleanups, we agreed to specific actions to deal with similar breakdowns in the future.
☐ I reconfirmed my support for the other person.