C.U.B.E. for Conflict

CUBE for Conflict was created to boil down complex models of communication into one practical, easy-to-use method that helps leaders avoid the most common mistakes in challenging conversations.

Introduction

  • Framing the conversation is setting up the conversation for success.

  • Creating clarity about the goal of the conversation and the agenda will help everyone align and focus on the desired outcomes. Don’t beat around the bush--even if it’s a tough conversation, and make sure you both are willing to have the conversation.

  • In most conversations, we want to establish a mood of openness, collaboration, and connection. Be soft on the person and hard on the problem.

REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

  • The best solutions and highest follow-through will come when there is mutual understanding of each party’s underlying interests. Don’t argue over the solutions--build them together.

  • Most people are poor listeners, especially if they are upset or have strong opinions.  Set up their listening by first understanding them. Even if they say something you disagree with, stay curious and ensure they feel heard. Paraphrasing is an extremely powerful and much underused tool.  

  • Also be sure to share your interests and priorities.

NDERSTAND EACH OTHERS WORLDS...THEIR WORLD FIRST

RAINSTORM OPTIONS

  • This is the time in a conversation to create value--to find ways that all the parties can be satisfied. Brainstorm together and expand ideas.  

  • If you get caught into narrowing into one solution too fast or critiquing solutions, it will shut down creativity and you’ll likely leave value on the table. 

ND WITH COMMITMENTS

  • Make sure everyone is clear and aligned on next steps (who is doing what by when). Often, commitments that may have seemed obvious were misunderstood.  

  • Commitments may be process commitments, such as having a follow-up meeting.

  • Capture commitments in writing and send an email re-confirming them.