Negotiations

C.U.B.E. for Conflict

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Best Practices for Negotiations

  • Build rapport and trust. Get to know them personally if appropriate.
  • Demonstrate that you care about their interests and want to create a solution that maximizes value for everyone.
  • Name any elephants in the room.
  • Set up the discussion process, duration, and who's involved (in-person communication is best).
  • On your own, know your and their alternatives if no agreement is reached.

C

REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

  • Be curious: Dig for their underlying interests, priorities, and feelings.
  • Stay curious: Really try to understand their top priorities.
  • Paraphrase: Ensure you heard correctly and demonstrate understanding.
  • Share your interests and priorities. 
  • Synthesize: List shared priorities and differences—what would be the best outcome for each party?

NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

U

  • Clarify you are brainstorming possible structures for an agreement, not making decisions. 
  • Discuss options for objective standards and how to determine fairness.
  • Identify the various parts of a possible solution. Use fillers rather than actual numbers, e.g. we spend $x on…
  • Be creative and look for out-of-the-box ideas.
  • Come up with 2-3 good solutions or “packages” that cover the range of the tradeoffs and differing priorities.

B

RAINSTORM OPTIONS

  • Make process commitments and a timeline to discuss which option is best/fair.
  • If possible, get agreement around what are fair and objective standards.
  • Do not agree to any part of the deal until the whole deal is agreed upon.
  • Clarify who else needs to have buy-in around the decision.
  • As you negotiate, continue to pursue your alternatives to make them real possibilities (it gives you leverage).

ND WITH COMMITMENTS

E

Common Mistakes for Negotiations

  • Not taking time to get to know the other party.
  • Trying to get to agreement too quickly (1 step forward, 2 steps back).
  • Discussing the issues before resolving relationship or trust issues.
  • Unilateral moves including setting up an agenda without a discussion.
  • Having the conversation in the wrong circumstances.
  • Putting all your eggs in one basket and not pursuing alternatives.

REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

C

  • Expecting to be heard before hearing the other person.
  • Solving problems based on positions rather than underlying interests.
  • Believing you understand what’s important to them without confirming your assumptions.
  • Not empathizing with their perspective, especially when you disagree.
  • Not explicitly sharing your interests.

NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

U

  • Focusing on the first solution that seems the best rather than fully exploring possibilities.
  • Judging, critiquing or ignoring ideas while brainstorming.
  • Throwing out ideas without caveating that you are just exploring.
  • Not gently correcting when others critique or judge.

RAINSTORM OPTIONS

B

ND WITH COMMITMENTS

  • Lack of clarity of next steps (always set up the next step).
  • Accepting unrealistic commitments.
  • Thinking too big rather than just focusing on the next step.
  • Withholding assessments about what’s working and what’s not working.

E

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