Letting a Team Member Go

C.U.B.E. for Conflict

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Best Practices for Letting a Team Member Go

  • Ideally have this conversation in the morning early in the week, e.g. Tuesday at 9:00 or 10:00. It gives everyone more time to reset and adjust to the new reality.
  • Share any important context or emotions, e.g. “I consider you a friend and this is a difficult conversation.”
  • Name the elephant. “John, I am asking for your resignation, want to discuss why, and talk about how to part ways in a way that works for both of us.”
  • Clarify that the decision has been made and own the decision if it is yours.
  • Outline what is still to be decided, e.g. the transition, etc. Prepare your offer.

C

REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

  • You can appreciate them for their contributions if it’s authentic.
  • Take responsibility for your role, e.g. insufficient resources.
  • Ask them if there is anything that they want to share with you.
  • Listen to and appreciate their view even if it’s inaccurate.
  • The general rule of thumb is to be honest about why you are letting them go, but not to share their deficiencies (please check with HR). This is not a good time to give them advice.

NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

U

  • Identify what is still to be decided, e.g. severance, timing, etc.
  • Explore options to make the transition smooth.
  • If you already hired someone to replace them, tell them (they are going to find out anyway).

B

RAINSTORM OPTIONS

  • Decide and fully align on clear next steps. 
  • Give them a timeline to sign a severance agreement.
  • If they are transitioning slowly, schedule a follow up meeting for the next day to check-in. Otherwise ask them to be out of the office by a specific time the same day--2 hours max. 
  • Apologize for company security policy, e.g. logins, door pass, etc.
  • Appreciate how the person is handling this. Discuss what they will tell other people.

E

ND WITH COMMITMENTS

Common Mistakes for Letting a Team Member Go

  • Not getting clear up front with the fact the decision has already been made.
  • Not being clear about whether you’d like this person to transition out slowly or depart immediately.
  • Not having a communication plan in place to update the rest of the team.
  • Having the conversation at the wrong time or in the wrong place.
  • Waiting until someone returns from vacation rather than just telling them.

C

REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

  • Not taking responsibility for any role you may have had in their failure.
  • Not empathizing with their emotional response even if you disagree with their perspective.
  • Thinking that they will be logical and be able to hear your reasoning.
  • Not being able to tolerate their anger or upset.
  • Thinking you already said it and they heard everything you said. They’ll likely remember only the bad comments.

NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

U

  • Not be willing to explore options for how to make this departure easier for them, e.g. letting them announce it, letting them resign, etc.

B

RAINSTORM OPTIONS

  • Not letting them know you support them on the personal level even if their role is ending.
  • Not being clear about next steps, logins not working, etc.

E

ND WITH COMMITMENTS

View the Cube Prep Sheet in Google Doc.

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